Just a few years ago, it was thought that a female cast couldn’t front a raunchy R-rated comedy that was as funny as The Hangover or Wedding Crashers. Those were considered “bro” movies and producers didn’t think women could handle that kind of humor.
But then Kristen Wiig came along with her co-writer Annie Mumolo and a cast of breakout stars including Melissa McCarthy, Ellie Kemper, Rebel Wilson, and Wendi McLendon-Covey to prove them all wrong and bring on a wave of hilarious female-led comedies with their $288 million hit Bridesmaids. The movie is full of hysterical and memorable quotes. So, here are some of the funniest quotes from Bridesmaids.
“That Dress Is So Pretty, It Makes My Stomach Hurt.”
Even without the context of this scene in Bridesmaids, this line from Megan (Melissa McCarthy) is still hilarious.
Lillian (Maya Rudolph) comes out in her wedding dress and everyone loves it, but Megan goes overboard and says that the dress is so pretty it hurts her stomach. This is before the food poisoning really hits any of the women so this line foreshadows the next scene, which makes it even funnier.
“Excuse Me, Um, Could I Have A Glass Of Alcohol When You Get A Chance?”
Becca (Ellie Kemper) agrees to go along with the wild bachelorette party before Lillian’s big wedding day, but the other characters quickly realize that Becca is very reserved and innocent.
The audience realizes this as well as the women are on the plane to go to Las Vegas Becca asks the flight attendant if she could have “an alcohol” when they have the chance instead of ordering a specific drink like one would typically do.
“I Just Took A S*** In The Middle Of The Street. I Just S***.”
The food poisoning scene in Bridesmaids is an unexpected turn in the already raunchy comedy, but this scene took it over the edge in a hilarious way.
The women go out to eat at a hole-in-the-wall restaurant that Annie (Kristen Wiig) suggests before going to try on their wedding and bridesmaid dresses. The stomach issues hit at the absolute worst time seeing bride Lillian struggle to cross the road in her wedding dress to get to a bathroom, and finally, she just sits in the middle of the street accepting her fate with this line.
“Look Away! What Did We Eat?! The Sink’s A Goner! It’s Comin’ Outta Me Like Lava!”
Again in the food poisoning scene Megan is as intense as ever and fights the other women for a spot in the bathroom.
She settles for the sink as the other characters go for the toilet as they can’t hold in anything from vomit to diarrhea in the gross-out scene. Even if audiences aren’t a fan of that type of humor, the dialogue is still top-notch including this descriptive scene Megan screams.
“Help Me, I’m Poor.”
Annie brings up her financial difficulties throughout the movie and it makes total sense as Helen (Rose Byrne) continues to go overboard with everything leading up to Lillian’s wedding that it would be difficult for anyone to have enough funds, including Annie.
On the plane, Annie is the only one not in first class and she won’t let Helen help her to upgrade. After some medication and alcohol, Annie starts having a complete breakdown on the plane including this line she says to a flight attendant trying to calm her down.
“I’m Glad He’s Single, ‘Cause I’m Gonna Climb That Like A Tree.”
It’s not often that the Academy voters recognize comedic movies, and even less often that they recognize mainstream Hollywood R-rated Apatowian comedies. But Melissa McCarthy’s breakout performance as Megan in Bridesmaids was simply that good, so she was nominated for the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress.
Even if she hadn’t gotten the prestigious nod from the Academy, this still would’ve been the movie that made her one of the biggest comedy stars in the world, because she connected with a huge audience immediately. She utters this line after mistaking an older gentleman for Annie’s husband.
“What’s That F****** Cookie?”
The bridal shower scene is where everything comes to a head. Lillian loves Paris, which only Annie knew about. Annie arrives at Helen’s house and realizes she stole her idea for a bachelorette party in Paris and picked it apart to throw a Paris-themed bridal shower instead.
“Did you actually think that this group of women would eat that cookie? You know what, that reminds me, I haven’t had a chance to try that f***ing cookie.”
So, Annie loses it and erupts at Lillian about her newfound friendship with Helen, then rampages around the backyard, smashing up the chocolate fountain and breaking the giant cookie.
“I Had A Dream Last Night That We Went Down.”
The nervous woman on the plane is played by Annie Mumolo, who co-wrote the Oscar-nominated screenplay for the movie with Kristen Wiig. Despite only appearing in one scene and her character not being named, Mumolo makes a lasting impression on the audience by capturing the anxiety of flying perfectly.
“Oh, God.” “You were in it.” “What?”
She tells Wiig – who is the only one of Lillian’s bridesmaids who can’t afford a first-class ticket – that she had a dream the night before the flight that the plane went down and, unnervingly, Wiig was in the dream.
“You Read My Journal?!”
Rebel Wilson was one of the many comic actors who got their big break in Bridesmaids. Now, she’s known for starring in such comedies as the Pitch Perfect franchise, How to Be Single, and Isn’t It Romantic.
“At first, I did not know it was your diary. I thought it was a very sad handwritten book.”
In Bridesmaids, she played the sister of Annie’s roommate who decided to move in with her infected Chupacabra tattoo and her invasions of privacy without paying any rent. In one of her first scenes, she reveals she’s gone into Annie’s bedroom and read her diary.
“I Put A Loaded Gun In Dougie’s Carry-On.”
The final scene of Bridesmaids takes place at Lillian’s wedding. She and Annie are friends again, Annie and Helen have found a way to connect on some level, and Annie and Officer Rhodes have finally gotten together.
“The TSA is going to just rip his ass apart.”
This is one of the final lines in the movie. Megan is laughing as Lillian and her new husband Doug (Megan’s brother) drive away to jet off on their honeymoon. Annie asks what’s so funny and Megan reveals the reckless prank she’s pulled on her brother.
“They Are Cute, But When They Reach That Age, Ugh. Disgusting.”
Now, Wendi McLendon-Covey is best known for playing the “smother” Beverly on ABC’s ‘80s-set family sitcom The Goldbergs. In that show, she loves her kids more than anything in the world and constantly wants to give them “snuggies.”
“They smell, they’re sticky, they say things that are horrible, and there is semen all over everything. Disgusting. I cracked a blanket in half. Do you get where I’m going with this?”
But in Bridesmaids, she played a very different kind of mother, one who is disgusted by her children and what they do.
“Why Can’t You Be Happy For Me, And Then Go Home And Talk About Me Behind My Back Like A Normal Person?”
Lillian knew from the beginning that Annie would be jealous of her getting married and becoming friends with Helen, but she expected her to complain about it behind her back and not actually bring it up with her in person, like everyone else in the world seems to do.
This line is pretty insightful. It’s sort of a throwaway gag, but it does deconstruct a pretty hefty chunk of how society functions and how phony we really are with one another.
“Female Fight Club. We Grease Up, We Pull In.”
When it comes to planning Lillian’s bachelorette party, everyone has their own ideas about what they should do. Ellie Kemper’s innocent and childlike character (an early template for her breakout role, Kimmy Schmidt) suggests going to Disneyland.
“Lillian doesn’t know, so it’s: ‘Surprise, we’re going to fight!’ We beat the s**t out of her.”
Wendi McLendon-Covey’s character would rather spend a depraved weekend in Vegas to escape her loveless marriage and her ungrateful children. And Melissa McCarthy’s character, Megan, suggests the most insane and violent idea of them all: “female fight club.”
“Whatever You Say, Stove.”
It’s not easy to act drunk in a way that’s both convincing and funny, but during the flight scene in Bridesmaids, Kristen Wiig establishes herself as one of the few comic actors who can nail it. Mitch Silpa plays the role of the flight attendant Steve with the greatest deadpan delivery, shutting down every absurd thing Wiig says and refusing to acknowledge any of her insults.
“Steve.” “Stove, what kind of name is that?” “That’s not a name. My name is Steve.” “Are you an appliance?” “No, I’m a man.”
And in turn, Wiig plays the scene perfectly as she completely ignores him. This is a result of Wiig and Silpa developing their improv skills with The Groundlings.
“I Feel Bad For Your Parents.” “I Feel Bad For Your Face.”
When a teenage girl who comes into the jewelry store reminds Annie of the bright-eyed youth that’s slowly slipping away from her, she has a meltdown that leads to her dropping some extreme profanity– and getting fired.
“Okay, well, call me when your boobs come in.” “You call me when yours come in.” “What do you have, four boyfriends?” “Exactly.” “Okay, yeah, have fun having a baby at your prom.” “You look like an old mop.” “You know, you’re not as popular as you think you are.” “I am very popular.” “Oh, I’m sure you are very popular.” “Well, you’re an old, single loser who’s never going to have any friends.”