While there are many sitcoms about a group of friends who help each other through everything that life has to offer, there is something special about New Girl. The characters feel like legitimately regular people who aren’t perfect and don’t really care about being perfect, either.

Of course, people should also watch New Girl because it’s hilarious, and that is all thanks to the clever dialogue. There are honestly so many quirky jokes in every episode that the show is worth watching time and time again. Even if someone watched it five times over, they might not catch everything. Read on to find out the 10 best New Girl quotes.

Updated December 27th, 2020 by Kristen Palamara: New Girl ended a few years in 2018, but it’s still a popular show that more fans are discovering every day, and fans are rewatching over and over again streaming on Netflix. The main characters are always hilarious and the creative and endlessly quotable dialogue of the show continues to be easily the best part of New Girl. While most of the dialogue is hilarious, there are some lines that have a deeper meaning or are actually great advice. 

“Because people are the worst.”

Jess asks why the always grumpy Nick is always looking for the worst in people, and Nick simply answers with this line that’s perfect for any day when people really are just the worst.

It’s a perfect line for Nick’s character and the show cuts away to terrible, but hilarious, things people have done to Nick in his past and it makes sense that he hates people so much because they typically seem to hate him too. It shows the differences between Jess and Nick as Jess wants to think the best of people, but Nick knows that he can’t.

“Sometimes I think I’m just a riddle that I can’t even solve.”

Schmidt is a pretty eccentric and picky character on the show that needs to have things go just his way or else he’ll start yelling, which always ends up being pretty hilarious as well.

Schmidt does have mini existential crises at times, which is pretty relatable for anyone around his age that isn’t exactly sure who they are or what they want in life, and this quote is a good representation of his moments where he wonders about who he is. Schmidt says this quote, pauses for a pensive moment, and he says that he still can’t figure himself out.

“I brake for birds. I rock a lot of polka dots. I have touched glitter in the last 24 hours! And that doesn’t mean I’m not smart and tough and strong.”

Nick’s lawyer girlfriend, Julia, helps Jess when she has to appear in court and it’s clear that the two don’t understand each other and have vastly different personalities.

Jess holds it in as long as she can, but finally tells Julia how she feels. Jess defends her personality, stating several things about herself like braking for birds or rocking polka dots that Julia probably wouldn’t like or understand, and stands up for herself by saying that even though all of these things are true it doesn’t mean she’s not independent and tough.

Nick and Schmidt are the best of friends but Schmidt sometimes expects more from Nick and Nick has a hard time picking up on the subtle hints until Schmidt has to yell at him what he wants. Schmidt gives him a fancy cookie and Nick doesn’t really thank him for it, which causes a fight between the two.

Nick brings Schmidt a black and white cookie he cut himself to look like the Star of David and has a difficult time apologizing with the cookie and goes into a few hilarious minutes of trying to convey how much he truly cares for Schmidt.

“Nick, it’s not that hard, man. Just sit down and write. You ain’t Hemingway.”

For most of the series, Nick claims to be a struggling writer without ever really trying to write much. When he finally does try to write, he gets caught up in the beginning and Winston finally delivers this line telling him to just sit down and write.

Even though the moment is a bit of a burn and still pretty hilarious, it’s actually some good advice and does help Nick to get out of his head and just start writing a first draft.

“Pine has no place in this loft. It’s the wood of poor people and outhouses.”

Schmidt (Max Greenfield) is a man on a mission to succeed in life, whether that means doing well at work, finding his dream girl to marry, or looking good. He’s hyper-focused on physical appearance and is very vain, which is pretty hilarious to observe.

That’s why this is such a great New Girl quote. The fact that he’s talking about the wood in the apartment and even has an opinion on the kind of wood that he would prefer is pure Schmidt. It really couldn’t describe his character more perfectly. Even though Schmidt fancies himself an attractive bachelor, he’s definitely just as flawed as the rest of the group, which is evident here when he’s complaining about pine. It’s clear that no one else shares his feelings here.

“I am not a successful adult. I don’t eat vegetables and/or take care of myself.”

This quote from Nick (Jake Johnson) is basically a character description, so it just had to be included on this list of the 10 best New Girl quotes.

Nick is definitely not a grown-up, and that’s totally his charm. He doesn’t eat properly, and viewers can guess that he might not have ever eaten a vegetable. He doesn’t have a lot of money or even know how to manage his finances—which will come up later—and he’s just kind of out of it. But he’s a good person and cares about the rest of the characters, so viewers can let all of this stuff slide. Nick often talks about his lack of self-care and how much of a mess he is, but this quote is the best of its kind since it’s funny and to the point.

“It’s perfectly fine to watch TV all day.”

Can’t argue with Nick here: this is definitely true. It would be easy to picture any of the New Girl characters saying this particular quote—especially Jess—but it would probably be when they were going through a break-up or a bad time.

Nick says stuff like this all the time, though, and he’s known as someone who isn’t super motivated and who doesn’t do a lot all day. That’s why he and Jess are such a perfect couple. They work well since they’re both weird and quirky, but she does have a bit more motivation to succeed in life than he does, and he needs to be with someone like her.

“The economy stinks, bees are dying, and movies are pretty much all sequels now.”

This Schmidt quote is one of the 10 best on New Girl since it’s just so true. This quote would have been great if anyone else had said it, but it’s just very Schmidt.

He’s the kind of guy who gets very worked up over the smallest things and can act very emotional and melodramatic. The smallest problem can honestly bring him to near tears. This quote is so funny since it employs a classic comedy writing technique: take something that is serious (like the problematic economy and the bee crisis) and then add a joke at the end. The part about movies being all sequels now makes this a totally hilarious quote.

“You know what we should watch? Have you guys ever seen Fame?”

This is a classic Jessica Day (Zooey Deschanel) quote since she’s always going off on a random tangent about a movie or something that she loves. She’s girly, full of quirks, and can sometimes seem to be off in her own universe (and that’s another reason why she’s perfect for Nick). The fact that Jess says this to the men of the group is even more hilarious since, of course, they’re not going to be up for watching Fame. The fact that she’s so innocent and clueless is pure Jess.

“It’s about a group of dreamers with talent to spare, taking New York City by storm, one dance number at a time… the cafeteria… the street…”

“I’d give you a hug, but my shirt smells pretty weird today.”

If New Girl fans were given a quiz to guess who said which quote, they would definitely be able to tell that this is all Nick. He just can’t help but say exactly what’s on his mind, even when it’s gross or weird or not really something that you want to say out loud.

It’s good that he doesn’t have a filter, though, because he says things like this quote. Nick is pretty much the opposite of Schmidt when it comes to personal hygiene and dressing well. Nick would rather not do laundry and just wear the same shirt over and over again.

“If I were off my rocker, would I take a weekly selfie with my cat?”

Winston (Lamorne Morris) is quite possibly the strangest character on New Girl, which is saying a lot since everyone is pretty weird. He just has something special about him that makes him the funniest character—arguably—and the quirkiest.

Winston views the world in his own way, and that makes him so great. This particular quote is one of the best on New Girl since he honestly believes that this is a completely normal thing to say. Winston and his cat are the best of pals, and many of his storylines feature his cat, so this is also classic Winston.

“I just wanted to listen to Taylor Swift alone!”

This quote from Jess is also one of the best on New Girl. This is so relatable, for one thing, and chances are a lot of fans who watched her say this could say “yes, exactly.”

This quote can apply to so many situations: a break-up, a bad day, a job interview that didn’t go well, or literally any awkward moment or encounter that should be forgotten about ASAP. Fans can always look to Jess to say what they are thinking, and she’s definitely at her best when making pop culture references.

“I like dogs more than cats.”

“I like chipmunks more than squirrels. I believe in UFOs. I once had a bass teacher, when I was younger, who did the standing bass. And he had a very weird smell, and I still think about it.” The second season episode “Cabin” is a stand-out since Nick has Absinthe and goes a bit, well, crazy. The alcohol is clearly too strong, and he ends up saying this hilarious quote, which is one of the greatest on the show.

Could Nick’s statement be any more random? What he’s saying is so funny since he’s literally listing off the things that he enjoys, but his delivery is what sells the quote since he talks super fast. This episode is absolutely worth checking out—along with the rest of the show, of course.

“You were denied a cell phone because you have the credit score of a homeless ghost.”

When Winston says this to Nick, it’s something that fans of the show have been thinking all along. Nick doesn’t really seem like he’s a part of society since he’s often talking about how he’s childish and doesn’t like being organized or doing things that grown-ups do. (Hey, at least he’s self-aware.)

Winston’s quote wins the top spot for the number one New Girl quote because it’s intelligent and funny. He didn’t just tell Nick that he’s broke or bad with money, which would have been mildly funny. Nope. Winston goes one step further and compares him to a “homeless ghost,” which is so Winston. Only his mind would go there, and this is a classic New Girl quote.